You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
