while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
