Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize