We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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