Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
