I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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