its not stalking. its research.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
