Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
