I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
