When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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