We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
