I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
