Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
