i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We are two peas in an std pod
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
the raccoons are back...
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