Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
