I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
