ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
