so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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