i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
