hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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