Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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