dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
