All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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