It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
