So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
