you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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