my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
