i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
