i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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