Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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