she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize