You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
