The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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