Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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