You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
