Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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