Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
