Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize