WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
