Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
