we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
