How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
