Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
