More tranny stories later!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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