i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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