considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize