That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
