dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
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