You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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