Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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