let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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