So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Green mimosas i think yes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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