In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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