Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
