Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
