never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
