Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
