I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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