I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
