you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
