omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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