did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The best revenge is premature balding
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
