You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
