I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
