It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she peed on how many people?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
