Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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