her vagine was all disorganized.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
