he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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