i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
