I feel like I'm in dance class right now
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
