i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
